Which is the bigger nightmare: the mind’s unconscious hallucinations, or an endless stretch of sleepless night? A real nightmare, or the nightmare of being wide awake. The whole rest of the world dissolved away to the death of sleep, to leave only you. To go beyond the time on the clock as the seconds inch by. Excruciating and yet simply so boring. Nothing to do and nowhere to go. The anxiety of wishing to fall asleep so intense that the tension is what keeps you awake. To feel like crawling out of your skin. To then be exhausted and when the dead world rises to the waking, you are the one who is the dead now. A corpse in the daylight, a nocturnal itch.
I recently shared some black and white analog work, and this is the result of my second project. This time around it was an analog-digital crossover, so everything is shot in 35 mm film, then scanned and processed through Photoshop. I chose to make work about insomnia, something I’ve struggled on-and-off with. I’m not quite sure I’ve hit the mark yet, but I’m getting there. It’s an exploration of paranoia, anxiety, the way that light and the body interact with each other. It’s chemical, its malfunctioning. I’ve been told that my work is too illustrative, too stylized sometimes; but how do you photograph what goes on in the mind, what goes on in the dark? I guess I’ve got a lot of work to do.