On Open Wounds

(left: Seams//right: Heart on my Sleeve)

I’ve had plans to share my artwork since the inception of this blog, but I think it takes more than just posting images. There’s a lot of thought behind artwork and I think it’d be undermining them not to meditate on the thought process a little. Though I want my work to speak for itself most of the time, there can be valuable discussions to be had as well. At the very least, I’d like to share the song lyrics that inspired and caption these pieces, in respective order:

“I think I saw you in my sleep, darling. I think I saw you in my dreams, you were stitching up the seams on every broken promise that your body couldn’t keep. I think I saw you in my sleep.” -Such Small Hands by La Dispute

“And I wear my heart on my sleeve so you can watch it bleed.” -Dissolve by Being as an Ocean

Though these pieces are separate, they follow a theme that I’m working within this summer. This past year has been a hard one for me, and I feel like I’m in a state of healing, but also acknowledging that I still have open wounds. All works created between now and the end of August will be part of a series titled “Season of Revival” – which studies both feelings of pain as well as the inner peace that I grapple for. I find it intriguing how many ways that negative feelings can be portrayed and symbolized in images, how many complex thoughts there are about it; while alternately, happiness seems far less complex.

Both of these pieces are similar in the sense that they represent open wounds. Some void is still gaping open, with only half an attempt to close it. I do believe that time heals wounds, but stitching them shut makes the healing go much faster and leave a smaller scar. And sometimes it’s not up to you to stitch yourself shut, not when there are other people involved. Sometimes you have to hang in there for the gush, the clotting, the scabbing and scarring, and try not to tear them open again. This may be easy for those who the resilient, but not incredibly easy for me. But I didn’t shy away from feeling everything as fully as I needed to feel it, and to further explore those feelings in artwork. And in a way, I find creating even this type of artwork to be healing in its own way. The simple act of creating artwork is almost mindless, so automatic that I find it incredibly calming.

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